27 March 2012
In order for Kevin O'Connor to take me seriously, I decided to type this letter in Comic Sans
Dear Kevin O'Connor,
It's been a while since we've talked. Actually, we've never talked. I've complained into the black abyss of twitter all season of your mind-numbing poor decisions hoping that somehow I channel the right tone of whining that telepathically sends a message to your no-comment brain. If any of those reached you, I'd like to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I complained and mocked you about making the playoffs. When you said the Jazz were not rebuilding and that they were to be contending for a playoff spot I openly mocked and laughed at you. I also mocked gas attendants everywhere for influencing Greg, but that's for another apology letter. Which I have already written and sent to 7-ELEVENs throughout the Salt Lake Valley. I thought you were a giant joke and had been drinking the Kool-aid that Kahn was stirring. I'm sorry. You knew better.
I'm sorry I mocked you for trying to create a winning atmosphere for the young Jazz players. I honestly thought you were trying to create the worst cesspool imaginable for growth and development. I mocked you for allowing Tyrone to hire Sydney Lowe. Wait, I'm not apologizing for that. But I am apologizing for complaining that you didn't hire a big man coach. You did. But you hired him as a full-time starter and traded for him last year. I had no idea Al Jefferson would be so instrumental in teaching the Derrick Favors and Enes Kanter footwork in the post and how to be a good teammate. Every time I see them make a move in the post I can honestly say it came from Al Jefferson. And as much as I thought you should have traded him away, I'm begging you not too because the Sydney Lowe "Big-Man in the Post" school is a sham.
[SIDENOTE: Yes, I still think that hire was average at best. But in case Sydney Lowe blows me out of the water I have enclosed the following apology:
BLAH, BLAH BLAH, I'm sorry, King of all Big Man Post Move Monarchy, BLAH, BLAH, grovel, grovel. Sincerely, My_Lo]
I'm sorry that I mocked you signing and encouraging Raja to play for many minutes a game....oh no...I can't, I just can't apologize for this.
I'm sorry that I mocked the Josh Howard signing. While he was a one man wrecking crew to his own fastbreak, he did bring toughness to the team. He brought a certain edge to the Jazz team that it had been lacking. He was willing to get in somebody's face. He did have swag even if he had nothing to back it up. Which was something Alec Burks could look up to. If Alec Burks plays with the swag that Josh Howard has then Alec Burks has the potential to be very high good. I commend you for that moneyball play. I also apologize for every illegal drug joke I made with Howard. No matter how ridiculously funny it was. No matter how many thousands of retweets it got. No matter how....okay, you get the point.
I'm sorry that I openly mocked the signing of Jamaal Tinsley. I think I could probably find a tweet of mine that says minutes after the Jazz signed Jamaal Tinsley that they were actively looking to bring Byron Russel out of retirement with his Shape-Ups. Man was I ever wrong. Jamaal brought a swag to the second unit that I have never seen. He taught these guys the essence of street ball. Basically that you don't back down. You don't allow anyone to take anything from you and You. Don't. Back. Down. One. Inch. He along with Earl Watson provide different support for the bench. They're like two different Mio flavors. You add them to the bench and the bench takes on a different flavor and a tasty bite. I'm sorry. He has been a great mentor, a great teammate, and a great inspiration to fans.
I guess I'm sorry. You knew what you were doing. You knew what you were doing when you drafted Kanter. You knew what you were doing when you signed a completely incohesive group of players that somehow complement each other. You knew what you were doing when you DIDN'T trade anyone. You knew what you were doing when you signed Demarre Carrol from off the streets. You knew what you were doing when you made almost every move of this season. So here I am left to grovel. So I'm sorry. You happy? Just don't give me that smart-ass smirk when you know the whole picture and I don't. I know you know it's going to work, just don't be so smarmy about it. You don't have to rub it in my face all the time. Geez.
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